The Glass Castle Movie: A Mental Health Perspective on a Toxic Family Dynamic

The Glass Castle is a memoir-based movie that shows the danger of toxic relationships between parents and children. The movie is based on the story of Jeanette Walls, who is the author of the memoir by the same name. She is played by Brie Larson, who alongside her siblings suffers emotional and psychological abuse as well as neglect at the hand of her parents, played by Naomi Watts and Woody Harrelson. The movie is filled with many other major themes, some of which include staying true to one’s roots, the importance of family, and overcoming adversity to name a few, and it does a great job of depicting how these dynamics can affect children as well as parents. In this article, we will focus on the theme of toxic parent-child relationships. We will also briefly discuss the ending of the movie and my thoughts, from a mental health perspective.

Firstly, toxic relationships between parents and children can lead to emotional trauma. In the movie, the protagonist, Jeannette, suffers from emotional abuse from her father. He constantly undermines her and makes her feel worthless, such as when he ridicules the notion of her moving to New York City when he discovers that she wishes to escape the house where she grew up feeling imprisoned and abandoned, or when a young man asks to take her up to his room at a bar and her dad responds with “go ahead, she can take care of herself”. This kind of treatment can lead to a lack of self-esteem and confidence seen most drastically by Jeanelle’s ongoing battle with her own boundaries with her parents. In the scene after her father physically assaults her fiance in response to feeling inferior to him, Jeanelle does not have the emotional capacity to agree with her fiance that her family is out of control and feels compelled to stand up for them despite the harm it is causing to her romantic relationship and the quite physical harm it causes her fiance. We see this dilemma continue to lead to a decline in her mental health and happiness as she feels that she must choose between a life of comfort, happiness, and love with her fiance, and a life “true to her roots.” Her parents throughout the movie continue to emotionally abuse her as they insidiously instill in her an ongoing guilt for her desire to have a better life, only to ask her for a million-dollar loan later on.

Secondly, toxic relationships can lead to a cycle of abuse. In the movie, Jeannette's father is an alcoholic and abusive. He is physically abusive to his wife and neglectful of his children. On multiple occasions, the movie shows that he spent the little cash that his family had on alcohol rather than on food; one of the best scenes depicting this shows his oldest daughter crying out to him while he lays in bed, “We haven’t eaten in three days!” He gets up, takes the cash that his wife has saved in a small box, and leaves, promising to get them “the best meal of their lives”, only to return ten hours later intoxicated and confused. When children grow up in such an environment, they may replicate this behavior in their adult relationships. It becomes a cycle of abuse that can continue for generations. This is best depicted by the fact that the father himself was abused as a child. We see a glimpse of the life he had when his family is forced to live in his childhood home with his mother, who tried to sexually abuse her grandson during their time there. Jeanette also finds a box with his father’s old writings, one of which included that it was impossible to breathe when he is “drowning in shit”. We do not get more background into the childhood of the father, but it can be deduced that he endured equally if not more emotional and psychological trauma as well as sexual and physical trauma that he continues to carry inside of him. Unfortunately, he is a reflection of the childhood that he endured, and the cycle of abuse continues.

Thirdly, toxic relationships can lead to a lack of trust. Jeannette's father is constantly making promises that he cannot keep. This leads to a lack of trust between him and his children. When parents break promises and do not keep their word, it can be difficult for children to trust them in the future. This lack of trust can lead to problems in adult relationships as well, as seen by Jeannette’s relationship with her fiance who later became her husband and her inability to open up to him on multiple occasions, often burrying her feelings and choosing not to communicate with him.

Fourthly, toxic relationships can lead to a lack of boundaries. Jeannette's father does not respect boundaries. He takes his children out of school and moves them around the country without any consideration for their well-being. This lack of boundaries can lead to problems in adult relationships as well. Without healthy boundaries, people may find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships.

This is best depicted in the last scene of the movie: Jeannette had recently learned that her father was dying from years of alcohol and tobacco abuse, and she was mentally balancing the decision of seeing him again with her desire to break free from him. Rather than discuss this with her husband and come to a conclusion together, Jeannette refused to disclose this to him and was cold and distant from him prior to an important dinner with wealthy executives. At dinner, Jeannette excuses herself suddenly from the table, returns to have an emotional outburst that ultimately embarrassed her husband and cost him a large job opportunity, and then leaves her husband to quite literally run back to her family. She then is shown to have left both her husband and her job to return to her family as they are seen eating Thanksgiving dinner together, and she is tearful as she states that she is “grateful”. While we can appreciate that Jeannette values family, authenticity, and creating a loving environment, we have to remember the toxicity that still remains within the family and can only imagine that this cycle will continue, even after the father’s death. We can also sympathize with the pain that Jeannette is already causing others as well as herself, including her now ex-husband. In the end, Jeannette’s reconciliation of her love for her toxic family and her desire for a better life was to leave her new life behind and try to find meaning in her childhood trauma, a decision that will lead to some short-term comfort but likely ongoing long-term pain unless major changes take place and new boundaries are set so that emotional healing can begin. The ending of the movie seems inherently heart-warming and intimate because the notion of being with family has a warm place in our hearts, but the underlying reality is that this family has been defined by brokenness and selfishness.

And lastly, toxic relationships can lead to a lack of accountability. In the movie, Jeannette's father is constantly blaming others for his problems. He does not take responsibility for his actions. This lack of accountability can lead to problems in adult relationships. When people are not willing to take responsibility for their actions, it can lead to resentment and anger, which riddled most of Jeannette’s life. A cathartic moment in the movie was when the father finally took some responsibility in his dying breaths and insightfully acknowledged the demons that lived inside of him. I can commend Jeannette for being loving and forgiving him in this moment; however, while forgiveness is the process of erasing the pain of the past and it is a great place for healing to begin, the conversation that the father and Jeannette had was minimal at best. it would have been gratifying to have a much more detailed, open conversation about the past before it was erased with the simple words of Jeannette: “No dad.” Allowing Jeannette’s father to take full accountability and have the space to share his thoughts, regrets, pain, and his own childhood hardships would have made for a much richer dialogue and even more healing to take place in both of their lives before the entire history of their past was scratched from existence.

In conclusion, The Glass Castle is a powerful portrayal of the danger of toxic relationships between parents and children. Such relationships can lead to emotional trauma, a cycle of abuse, a lack of trust, a lack of boundaries, and a lack of accountability. It is important for parents to be aware of the impact that their behavior can have on their children, and it is also important for victims of childhood abuse to learn to manage this trauma as they become adults with the help of mental health providers so that these patterns and cycles can be broken.